Obsession
by Moggie
Summary: [COMPLETE][GSR] It's an obsession and no matter how much you try to stop it, it makes it twice as worse to stay away.
1. Default Chapter

Obsession  
  
Author: Moggie  
  
Pairing: G/S  
  
Category: Angst, Romance  
  
Rating: R  
  
Summary: It's an obsession and no matter how much you try to stop it, it makes it twice as worse to stay away.  
  
Spoilers: none  
  
Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.  
  
Chapter One  
  
He tried the door, but it was locked. She never locked it.  
  
They agreed to stop.  
  
It wasn't worth loosing their jobs over.  
  
It had been so long.  
  
It wasn't suppose to happen, not after the first time.  
  
There was a second.  
  
Then a third.  
  
Before it suddenly spun out of control.  
  
It was like an addiction.  
  
They had released an OBSESSION.  
  
The hunger was intense and each night grew painful at the sight, because it was strictly look do not touch.  
  
Looks were shared, but oblivious to the others around them.  
  
No one knew.  
  
It was a secret.  
  
But it had to stop.  
  
Any more and it would become unstoppable.  
  
He tried the door again and inwardly groaned.  
  
It wasn't like smoking, a drug, alcohol or any other kind of addiction.  
  
It was a pure kind.  
  
Only shared between two people, who meant more to each other than words.  
  
Nothing was going to stop them, but themselves.  
  
And she had put the nail in the door.  
  
He stood and stared at her window. The light was on in her bedroom. He knew that room like his own.  
  
The lamp on the nightstand.  
  
The large queen size bed that they had explored and shared together.  
  
The soft light blue carpet covering the floor.  
  
The book shelves on one wall.  
  
The chest of drawers in one corner and the wardrobe beside it.  
  
He watched in anticipation that she could feel him standing here. Waiting for her to let him in. He didn't dare knock. Break the vowel they had made.  
  
Stay away.  
  
No more.  
  
Stop.  
  
Walking back to his car. He sat and waited, but nothing. Seeing the light go out, he turned the key and roared up the engine. Before pulling away, he punched the dash hard and cringed as his hand crunched. Flexing his fingers slowly, he held the pain and stored it with the rest of the pain he had held since making the vow to the one person he hungered for since he met her.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
She watched him pull away. She'd heard the noise of footsteps and felt his presence, but knew she couldn't break the pact they made. She had turned her light out so he couldn't see her watching him.  
  
It was for the best.  
  
They both knew that.  
  
They had to stay away.  
  
To keep their distance.  
  
The lab couldn't afford to loose one, let alone two CSI's.  
  
No, the promise had to be kept.  
  
It happened by accident the first time.  
  
The second was out of aggression.  
  
The third was pure passion.  
  
The fourth was need.  
  
The fifth was want and the rest was getting to the stage of out of control.  
  
Hunger was creeping in on them.  
  
It was beginning to scare them both.  
  
But they wouldn't admit it to themselves.  
  
The need was too much, but the hunger that was growing was becoming unbearable.  
  
She sighed as he walked away and got into his car. She felt the tears fall, but didn't attempt to wipe them away. She needed him as much as he did her, but the risks were too high. She watched him look to her window, but turned away to start his car. She touched the window lightly at the sight of him attacking the dashboard and whimpered at his obvious pain, but didn't go to him. His car drove away, taking his hurting soul with him and leaving behind his just as pained soul mate. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two  
  
No one noticed two of their friends in pain. They hid it so well, no one even saw it.  
  
She walked into the break room without a care in the world. That's what she wanted to project, but she knew he would see through the façade.  
  
He looked up from his book and noticed the slumped shoulders, tired face, slow movements, thin frame and pained eyes, but no one else did.  
  
No one knew her like he did.  
  
No one knew him like she did.  
  
They were both the same, but both so different.  
  
She could make him laugh.  
  
He could bring the redness to her face, a blush with just one word.  
  
She knew his weakness.  
  
He knew hers.  
  
She knew his strength.  
  
And he knew hers.  
  
She poured herself a coffee, but didn't even battered an eyelid when she touched the hotplate with her palm.  
  
The pain was irrelevant with stronger pain buried deep inside her.  
  
The quietness was broken with the other's talking and making small talk about things they did at the weekend, but two stayed quiet.  
  
They knew what they did and knew they couldn't share it with the others.  
  
His bed was so warm all weekend.  
  
They barely left it.  
  
The jokes.  
  
The playfully banter.  
  
The work talk.  
  
The argument at the end.  
  
The soul breaking decision to STOP.  
  
She looked over at him and caught his eyes on her. She couldn't look away. She gave him a small sad smile and left the room.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
The room was quiet.  
  
The room was cool.  
  
The windows were open.  
  
The door was unlocked.  
  
The heat from outside seeped into her home.  
  
The music played quietly in the background.  
  
The table was covered with case reports.  
  
The heat had assaulted her skin immediately.  
  
Her body demanded less clothing.  
  
Shorts and a t-shirt with no bra was all that she wore.  
  
The knock at the door wasn't unexpected, but it was against the rules they set before them.  
  
She knew who it was before the knock came.  
  
She felt him.  
  
She smelt him.  
  
She craved him.  
  
She turned as the door opened and closed.  
  
He watched as she stood and leaned back against the table.  
  
He approached her slowly.  
  
Seeing her body in shorts and a thin white t-shirt sent his senses into overdrive.  
  
His heart beat wildly in his chest.  
  
Almost painfully, he tried to stop.  
  
But the need was too great.  
  
He did stop, but it was too late to pull back.  
  
She looked deeply into his eyes as they reached hers.  
  
She grabbed his belt and pulled him to her.  
  
His mouth vigorously attacked hers.  
  
Her hands unbuckled his belt.  
  
She slid her hands up his chest and began pulling the buttons from their holes.  
  
His mouth madly took her breath and fed off her gasps and moans of pleasure and need.  
  
It matched his own.  
  
His hands pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to one side.  
  
His mouth left hers as he instantly took a breast into his mouth.  
  
Teasing it endlessly with his tongue, his teeth and his hot breathe.  
  
She pushed her hands up his chest as his shirt flew apart with the breeze.  
  
Her fingers caressed his ribs gently.  
  
Her tongue coming out to lick her lips.  
  
His mouth rained heavy kisses over her chest.  
  
His head came up to hers and took her tongue into his mouth.  
  
He sucked on it as he pulled her shorts open.  
  
She couldn't wait any longer.  
  
His head fell back as her hand slipped into his pants and took his pulsating erection.  
  
Her shorts fell to the floor.  
  
His pants followed.  
  
Soon his boxers joined the discarded clothing.  
  
She pulled him with her as she backed up onto the table and he lay over her.  
  
His head brushed her folds agonisingly.  
  
She whimpered as he entered her slowly.  
  
His kiss was delicate and soft.  
  
She held him tightly.  
  
Her nails scrapping down his back.  
  
His muscles bunched at the sudden pain from her nails and the mental torture to control himself.  
  
Begging his inner self to be gently with her, not pound into her, not take her and not cause her more pain.  
  
She kissed him just as gently and with such care, she brushed his cheek from the stray tear that pushed through his strong barrier.  
  
Her own barrier was breaking at the feel of him.  
  
The smell taking over her senses.  
  
His whole presence feeding her.  
  
Taking what it needs to survive.  
  
His eyes burned into hers as he collapsed onto her.  
  
Her arms held him close.  
  
His lips tenderly caressed hers.  
  
Their eyes never loosing each other, even as the kiss deepened to satisfy the ebbing pain.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
He pulled his shirt over his shoulders.  
  
He watched as she bent over the table to gather the papers together.  
  
The pain returned at the sight of her leaning over the pine.  
  
He walked to her and brushed his fingers down her spine, under her shirt and back down again.  
  
She groaned and pushed her ass back into his hips.  
  
He responded by thrusting lightly forward.  
  
He leaned over her.  
  
His chest pressed against her back.  
  
His arms sliding under her.  
  
She pushed herself upright and let him hug her.  
  
She closed her eyes tighter and leaned her head back onto his shoulder.  
  
"This needs to stop." She whimpered.  
  
"I know." He kissed her neck, lashing his tongue out to taste her skin.  
  
"It's becoming out of hand."  
  
"I can't help it." His hands squeezed her stomach softly.  
  
Her hands brushed down his arms to join their fingers.  
  
"We need help." She whispered.  
  
He chuckled and kissed her cheek.  
  
"I doubt that."  
  
She smiled and turned in his arms.  
  
"If we don't stop." She kissed his lips lightly.  
  
He nodded and kissed her back. "We could loose our jobs. I know."  
  
"Maybe I should go away." She looked into his eyes as he drew away from her swollen lips.  
  
His head shook quickly. "Noooo." It sounded more like a plead to both their ears.  
  
She sighed. "This goes on much longer, we won't be able to control it."  
  
Seeing her worries, he knew it needed to be controlled before it spun off by itself.  
  
"Ok." He conceded and pulled away from her.  
  
Walking to the door as he buttoned up his shirt, he turned.  
  
She smiled and watched him nod, but both knew it wasn't going to last.  
  
'The last time' was just words.  
  
'It's not going to happen again' were just more words.  
  
They both knew it.  
  
They just wish they didn't have to hide.  
  
Wished there were rules that would let them be together. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three  
  
Only three days past and the strain was becoming evident to them both.  
  
Being alone in the day was slowly driving them insane.  
  
They needed each other.  
  
They needed to be healed by each other's touch.  
  
She needed his arms holding her securely as she slept.  
  
He needed her skin touching his to remind him he was alive.  
  
The warmth they both generated would turn into bolts of electricity.  
  
From one look, to one touch.  
  
A spark would ignite and it wouldn't fade until it was fed with all the energy it could take.  
  
The heat they produced.  
  
The connection between them.  
  
The small innocent touches.  
  
The flirting in private.  
  
The words that would slip.  
  
It all created a monster and that monster was begging to be free.  
  
She watched him walk down the corridor.  
  
They both knew it.  
  
He saw her sitting by the A/V table, watching him. He restrained himself, forced himself to keep his eyes straight, but as he past the door, he glanced at her and smiled as she looked away quickly with pinked cheeks.  
  
He knew it would happen and revelled in it.  
  
Those pink cheeks.  
  
Those brown eyes.  
  
Those sweet lips.  
  
Her soft skin.  
  
He cleared his throat nervously and continued on his way.  
  
Thinking of her like that was going to get him in trouble.  
  
He could feel the ache.  
  
He could feel her ache.  
  
But they were at work.  
  
That didn't matter.  
  
It wasn't going to happen again.  
  
They had broken the promise they made.  
  
And made a new one, but that promise would be broken again and they knew it.  
  
Before it even passed their lips.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Three days was a lifetime.  
  
His heart jumped at the sound of a knock on his front door. He opened it and gasped at the sight before him.  
  
She was wearing black pants and a blouse. Her black leather jacket was protecting her from the chill of the evening.  
  
The rain had left her skin cool.  
  
Her hair damp.  
  
Her cheeks chilled.  
  
She couldn't help it. She was walking and found herself on his doorstep. This wasn't what they agreed. He broke the promise the first time and now she was doing it for the second.  
  
"I'm sorry." She whispered.  
  
He watched her skin pale and grasped her hand tightly.  
  
"You're cold." He gasped.  
  
She nodded and started to cry at the feel of his arms wrapping around her.  
  
He held her tight.  
  
"Ssssh. It's ok." He soothed.  
  
She shook her head and pulled away. "I shouldn't be here. I promised, but I can't." She wiped her eyes, but the tears still came. "I can't stop. I can't be away from you. I'm hurting so much, I can't stop it. I can't." She repeated, pulling him closer and kissing him feverishly.  
  
He couldn't stop it either.  
  
He knew the depth of her feelings for him and she knew his.  
  
Rules were meant to be broken, but to loose one job and never see each other again was a terrifying thought.  
  
He would tell her.  
  
If she didn't come, he would have gone to her before the evening ended.  
  
He would be standing on her doorstep in the rain.  
  
Drenched and cold.  
  
Asking to come in with tears in his eyes.  
  
The painful ache in his heart.  
  
The need to hold her tight and never let her go.  
  
But the fear of being found out thwarted their chances of being together.  
  
The lab would separate them.  
  
Transfer one and punish them both.  
  
It was time to take the next step.  
  
Make the big decision.  
  
Decide what happens.  
  
And live with the consequences to the actions that take place.  
  
His body enveloped her.  
  
Offering his heat.  
  
His heart.  
  
His entire being to warm her.  
  
His hands ran up her wet jacket and effortlessly pushed it from her body.  
  
Pulling out of the kiss, his eyes trailed down her clammy skin and sighed with concern. "You could be ill this time tomorrow." He whispered. "Come on."  
  
He clasped his hand in hers and tugged on it gently.  
  
She followed him into the bathroom.  
  
Her eyes wandering the small room as he turned the shower on.  
  
She kicked her shoes off and waited.  
  
Turning to her slowly, he smiled and started to unbutton her blouse.  
  
She watched his eyes follow his hands as he pushed the blouse over her shoulders, letting it fall effortlessly to the floor.  
  
He leaned forward and kissed her neck lightly.  
  
Her eyes closed at the sensation and the feel of his warm lips on her cold skin.  
  
His fingers glided over her stomach to the waistband of her pants.  
  
The button and zip coming undone easily.  
  
His lips caressed her neck and throat as she pushed her pants effortlessly to her feet.  
  
Running his hands up her body to her bra, he pulled back and watched as he unclasped the hook and slowly removed the damp silk.  
  
The last piece of clothing was her underwear, but before his hands reached for her waist, she pushed him back into the stall and smiled mischievously.  
  
His laughter echoed through the room.  
  
Her lower body pressed against his as she pulled his shirt open.  
  
The water was soft on their skin as she continued to unbuckle his pants.  
  
Raising her eyes to his, she focused on the dark blue as she let his pants drop to the shower floor.  
  
His eyes never left hers as his boxers soon joined his pants.  
  
Her hands came up slowly.  
  
Her fingers relishing in the shivers as they ran over his chest.  
  
Leaning forward, she looked down at her hands as she reached the scar on his neck.  
  
His head lowered and his eyes closed as her tongue traced the outline.  
  
Stepping out of his clothes, he turned them and pushed her against the warming wet wall.  
  
Hers eyes watched her hands as she pushed his shirt over his shoulders.  
  
He pushed his body against hers and began kissing her slowly as his hands worked her panties down her legs.  
  
They were tired.  
  
Tired of hiding.  
  
Tired from a long shift the night before.  
  
Tired from all the running emotions coursing through them.  
  
Breaking the kiss, he lowered his head to her collarbone.  
  
Licking and sucking on her wet flesh.  
  
Her head fell back against the shower wall.  
  
His mouth driving her crazy.  
  
Her hands gently squeezed his shoulders as he tasted her breasts.  
  
Moans echoed through the room as he pushed further into her.  
  
She raised her right leg and wrapped it around his waist.  
  
Smiling, he raised his eyes to hers and lifted her.  
  
She grinned and pulled his head to her. Kissing him softly as he entered her.  
  
Such slow thrusts and slow passionate kisses.  
  
The love flowed from them.  
  
Seeping into one another and wrapping around them like a tight blanket.  
  
They knew that they had to talk, but right now was not the time.  
  
His hands glided over her back and up to her shoulder blades.  
  
Her fingers tangled in his curls as his mouth explored her neck tenderly.  
  
They were on fire.  
  
The water cascaded over them both.  
  
Warming their bodies.  
  
But burning as their passion heated and fed their hunger for each other.  
  
Slowly, the fever began to break.  
  
His eyes locked with hers.  
  
Caressing her cheek lightly, he closed his eyes and rest his forehead to hers as their release washed over them together.  
  
She cried out at the intensity and held him tightly.  
  
Her legs loosened in exhaustion, but he held her close.  
  
Reaching blindly, he turned the shower off and stepped out onto the floor mat.  
  
She buried her face in his neck as he wrapped a towel around her and carried her to his bed.  
  
Laying down beside her, he brushed her hair from her face and kissed her cheek.  
  
She snuggled into his body as he wrapped his arms around her protectively. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four  
  
Morning came and the sunlight beamed through the breaks in the curtains in his room. The window was open slightly, letting a warm breeze blow over the two bodies that clung together amongst a thin white sheet.  
  
The door bell broke the peace that had settled and the occupants of the large bed were stirring at the disturbance.  
  
The bell rung through the hallway to the man of the house.  
  
Throwing the sheet back, he kissed the sleeping brunette as she fell back into sleep.  
  
Walking through the living room with his pants on, he opened the door as he button his shirt and adjusted his glasses.  
  
He furrowed his brows at the intruder and sighed. "Yes Catherine?"  
  
Catherine smiled at the dishevelled look. "Nice night Gil?"  
  
He frowned at her, but didn't move. "Can I help you?"  
  
Catherine nodded. "Can I come in perhaps?"  
  
Grissom shook his head slowly. "Sorry."  
  
Catherine smiled and nodded. "Ok. Nice to see you finally found an interest other than bugs." She teased. "Right then. I was wondering if you could look this case over for me and help me out. I'm stuck."  
  
Grissom took the file she held out to him and sighed. "Ok, I can't promise anything, but I'll look it over and talk to you tonight."  
  
"All I ask." She turned and grinned. "Have fun." She threw over her shoulder as she continued down the path towards her car.  
  
Raising a curious eyebrow, he closed the door and opened the file in his hands as he made his way to the kitchen.  
  
Turning the coffee maker on, he read over the reports for Catherine's case. Scanning the few photo's of the evidence and crime scene. Pouring two coffee's, he carried them back to his room.  
  
Sitting on the bed, he continued to read the file.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Stretching slowly, she turned into the body next to her, only to notice the body was laying on the bed and not in the bed.  
  
She opened her eyes and saw a brown file in his hands.  
  
His glasses resting on his nose lightly.  
  
His eyes fixed on the reports.  
  
His mind was elsewhere.  
  
She smiled at his intent concentration.  
  
He looks gorgeous when fixated on something.  
  
Thinking of something to distract him, she slowly ran her hand from his knee upwards.  
  
Watching his eyes, she continued to pushed her hand over his thigh.  
  
There it was.  
  
The slight twitch of his jaw.  
  
She grinned and lightly brushed against his growing arousal.  
  
His eyes closed at the sensations.  
  
His arms shaking as his concentration warped out of the room.  
  
Her hand brushed him again, before moving up to his stomach.  
  
With one hand, she began to unbutton his shirt.  
  
Three buttons and her hand glided over the soft skin of his abdomen.  
  
His head had fallen back against the headboard.  
  
He dropped the closed file onto the floor.  
  
She wrapped her fingers around the waistband of his pants and tugged his body down.  
  
He slipped down the bed until he was lying on his back.  
  
His left arm wrapped around her back and pulled her into his side.  
  
She snuggled closely and kissed his chin.  
  
Moving to his neck, she sucked on the flesh.  
  
He moaned softly and turned his head to kiss her.  
  
Their lips brushed lightly.  
  
Her left hand brushed through his curls as she kissed him tenderly.  
  
Nothing was rushed.  
  
The feel of them in each other's arms was enough for them at this time.  
  
Tired from the previous evening.  
  
She broke the kiss and held him tightly.  
  
She sighed contentedly and placed her hand over his heart.  
  
Her body pressed against his side through the sheet as her head lay on his shoulder.  
  
Closing her eyes, she soon fell back to sleep.  
  
He removed his glasses and placed them on the nightstand.  
  
He joined her in sleep after watching her for a little while.  
  
His heart swelled with happiness.  
  
She was tired.  
  
She was tired and still teasing him.  
  
He smiled at the thought and pulled her closer.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
The coffees went cold.  
  
The morning turned into afternoon.  
  
The light was still beaming through the window.  
  
The bodies still curled around each other.  
  
Sleep still housed them.  
  
But again, a disturbance. The doorbell echoed through the rooms.  
  
Grissom grumbled as he pulled away from the warm body.  
  
He again button his shirt and adjusted his glasses as he slid them back on.  
  
Opening the door, he sighed once again. "Yes Warrick?"  
  
Warrick smiled. "I need your opinion on a case."  
  
Grissom pursed his lips and closed his eyes briefly. "File." He held out his hand.  
  
Warrick handed it to him and waited. "Can I come in?"  
  
Grissom shook his head. "Sorry Warrick. I'll look this over and ring you later. Ok?"  
  
Warrick nodded. "No, that's great. I got things to do anyway. Talk later."  
  
Grissom watched as Warrick walked back towards his car.  
  
"Do you normally have so many visitors?" A groggy voice asked from the hall.  
  
Grissom closed the door. "No. I'm getting pissed off with the interruptions though."  
  
"Come back to bed." She coaxed.  
  
Grissom smiled and dropped the file on the coffee table.  
  
"How you feeling?" He asked wrapping his arms around her.  
  
She kissed his chin and laid her head on his chest. "Tired and stuffy."  
  
"Let's get you back into bed." He grinned and helped her under the sheets.  
  
"I'm thirsty." She whined as she snuggled against him.  
  
Grissom reached out for the bottled water and handed it to her. "Maybe you should stay here tonight."  
  
She drank the water and handed it back to him. "I don't want to be here alone."  
  
"I know, but you're not well." His voice was soft as he kissed her hair and hugged her body close.  
  
"I'm not." She protested with a cough.  
  
Grissom chuckled and brushed her hair from her face. "Sara, Please. Just stay here and I'll come back at break."  
  
"Promise." She asked on a whisper.  
  
"I promise. Now sleep." 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five  
  
Grissom walked into the lab that night with his head in a file. Catherine's file to be exact. He had already looked through it a few times, but couldn't understand why there was no follow up on one suspect. He sighed and flipped open Warrick's file. He'd done the same to Catherine's and found that Warrick hadn't signed several reports. What did he have to do to get his team to do something so simple.  
  
He walked through the lab and took his messages from the front desk as they were handed to him and continued down the hallway towards his office.  
  
Opening his door, he noticed someone out the corner of his eye and looked up. Catherine, Nick and Warrick stood in his office, waiting for him.  
  
He frowned at them and sat behind his desk.  
  
Looking around at each other them, they seemed to wait for something.  
  
Just as he was about to ask them what was going on, his office phone rang.  
  
"Grissom."  
  
The other's watched in silence as he nodded and said goodbye.  
  
"Sara's not coming in, she's sick." Grissom said into the silence as he replaced the phone on it's receiver.  
  
"That was Sara?" Warrick asked.  
  
Grissom furrowed his brows in confusion. "Yes." He asked. "Why?"  
  
They all looked at each other.  
  
Catherine stood from her chair. "We thought that she would come on."  
  
Warrick nodded. "You know?"  
  
Grissom still looked confused. "No." He shook his head slowly and waited for them to spell it out.  
  
Nick just watched in silence. He didn't know what was going on, but was asked by Catherine and Warrick to not ask questions, just yet.  
  
"Didn't she have last night off Griss?" Warrick asked.  
  
Grissom nodded slowly. "I think, yes she did." He clarified after checking the calendar. "Warrick, your off tomorrow." He turned back and waited for more questions.  
  
Warrick nodded. "Thanks. I didn't know that. Erm."  
  
Catherine touched Warrick's arm. "Maybe we read into it wrong." She whispered.  
  
"Read into what?" Grissom asked.  
  
"You and Sara had the night off last night and when I dropped by this morning, you were reluctant on letting me in." Catherine trailed off.  
  
Warrick nodded. "Yeah, same with me."  
  
Grissom sighed and removed his glasses. "Guys, I have a night off and you want to barge into my home in the middle of the afternoon when I'm sleeping. Why would I let you in, just to ask about work. Which by the way, you both still have work to do." He handed both files back to blank faces as they took their case files and watched as Grissom turned to his paperwork that was piled on one side of his desk.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
She was continuously on his mind the whole night.  
  
He had put himself on a solo case so the other's didn't notice his distraction.  
  
Walking through a crime scene, collecting the evidence, it was all clouded with the wonderful images of a tall, sexy, beautiful brunette sitting at his home, in his bed, waiting for him to call or come home to her.  
  
He felt like dropping everything to be with her, but knew better. Rumours, suspicion and gossip was not what they needed right now.  
  
The topic was very touchy for both and when it was time to talk about what had to be done, they needed to be honest and careful with their decision.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
She felt tired.  
  
More tired than she thought she would be.  
  
Must be a cold or something.  
  
She felt sick.  
  
Well, you do get sick when you have the flu or something. Right?  
  
Yeah, just the flu.  
  
Didn't help matters when you walk through a down pour and end up on your lovers doorstep in your own down pour, of tears.  
  
Turning onto her side, she stared at the clock.  
  
8 hours until he walks through the door and she could hold him.  
  
There was so much to discuss.  
  
So much to sort out.  
  
To much to ignore for long.  
  
Too important to let go.  
  
Not optional to let what they have be destroyed.  
  
But.  
  
That was what she was thinking.  
  
Their were two brains in this strange relationship.  
  
One was elsewhere, working, lost in his own thoughts.  
  
The other, laying in bed, thinking the same thoughts.  
  
'How is this going to work?'  
  
Work would be dangerous.  
  
Dangerous in ways that Conrad Ecklie and the sheriff would definitely make sure it happens that way.  
  
They'd be split up.  
  
She would be transferred elsewhere.  
  
Or worse. to days.  
  
He would be reprimanded.  
  
Watched over like a hawk by higher ups.  
  
His personal life invaded with questions.  
  
His own life would be made public.  
  
Thinking hard about this. She shook her head and sat up.  
  
She couldn't let him get hurt because they couldn't be together.  
  
In public.  
  
At work.  
  
Anywhere in Las Vegas.  
  
And no matter how much it hurt to think about it.  
  
She was not going to ruin his life just so they could be together.  
  
She was not going to destroy his career so she could be with the one man she truly loved.  
  
And she was not going to let his personal life, he hid so strongly from others, become pubic knowledge so he would end up regretting everything.  
  
Standing and searching for her clothes, she decided it was best to go and she'd ring later so they could meet somewhere to talk things through and take all the words they had spoken, promised, shared. back and put themselves at a distance that was safe enough to keep their jobs and lives intact.  
  
They'd never met up.  
  
Never 'really' discussed their attraction.  
  
It was about time they did.  
  
It may be too late, but if they didn't stop it. he'd regret everything and the only thing she could see as their future was.  
  
Blame.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Break came and no answer from his house phone.  
  
Ringing again ten minutes later was futile as there was still no reply.  
  
He was on his way home during his break as promised and he wanted to know if she wanted anything picked up from the store, but no answer from his phone.  
  
Unlocking his front door, he dropped his keys onto the kitchen counter as he moved around the island to the coffee maker.  
  
Listening to the silence, he turned the machine on and made his way to the bedroom.  
  
Nothing.  
  
The bed was made.  
  
The blinds were closed.  
  
The room still had her smell.  
  
He inhaled sadly and walked back to the kitchen.  
  
Opening his fridge, he saw a note stuck to his bottle of milk.  
  
He smiled and pulled out his glasses so he could read it.  
  
His smile quickly fled at the words.  
  
'Gil, It's not worth you loosing your job. It's not worth you being hurt because I'm too selfish to not want to keep us quiet. I don't want you to regret what happened between us so I can't let this continue. I'm sorry I said I can't let you go last night, but I'm not sorry that I love you. Sara'  
  
Sinking to the floor as his legs gave way under him, he leaned back against the closed refrigerator door and scrunched the letter up in his hands.  
  
Squeezing all the life out of the piece of paper, he threw it at the opposite cupboard and watched as it bounced across the floor and stopped by his feet.  
  
His eyes zoned in on the small ball of paper.  
  
His eyes grew heavy.  
  
Stinging came first as his stare continued.  
  
Then the wetness.  
  
He blinked once and they tumbled down his cheeks.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Pulling himself to his feet after falling into a emotionally tired induced sleep, he went into his bathroom and washed his face.  
  
He was late for work and as if on cue.  
  
His cell rang.  
  
Finding his jacket, he grabbed his cell and answered it.  
  
"Grissom?"  
  
"Where are you?" Catherine's voice boomed down the line. "A triple just came in and we're short handed. Get a move on." With that outburst, she hung up and Grissom was already out the door. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six  
  
7 hours of working the triple homicide was enough to make you put a gun to your own head.  
  
Three bodies.  
  
One, a young mother or two.  
  
The two, the young mother's children.  
  
Knifed in the street outside a small diner.  
  
All for a measly $40's.  
  
Nothing was going right.  
  
No prints.  
  
Not suspect.  
  
No witnesses.  
  
Grissom stood, looking out at the desert behind the diner.  
  
The bodies had been taken back to the lab and only he and Catherine were still at the scene.  
  
His hands were dug deep into his jacket pockets as he continued to stare.  
  
Catherine came up behind him and observed his low shoulders and sluggish stance before moving to stand beside him.  
  
"Something happen?"  
  
He snapped out of his thoughts and swung his head in her direction. "Sorry?" He asked, confused.  
  
Catherine sighed and sat on the wall, facing him.  
  
"You've been quiet all night. Is their something you want to tell me?"  
  
He continued to look at her blankly.  
  
Seeing the underlining of her question, he shook his head hesitantly, only to stop to think about it.  
  
"Yes and no." He finally said after a long dead silence had settled.  
  
Catherine nodded and tilted her head towards the ground slightly.  
  
"Who is she?" Her voice was quiet and low enough so only he could hear and not the officer standing on the other side of the small diner car park.  
  
Dropping his eyes from hers quickly, he turned back to the desert.  
  
Opening her mouth to speak again was lost as he drew in a sudden deep breath and started to speak.  
  
"Have you ever wondered why we continue to put the criminals in jail and give closure to those who need it, but when it comes to 'our' own lives. it's like we're not suppose to have one. Like we're only here to serve and do as we're told, not question, just do. Then go home, sleep, eat and be back at work the next night?"  
  
Catherine was stunned by his words and his calm and cool exterior.  
  
"I guess you have." Was all she could say.  
  
He nodded and looked down, blinking for the first time since he started talking.  
  
"What if I have a life outside work, but it would jeopardise my work if anyone found out?"  
  
He didn't mean or want to discuss this, but he needed to.  
  
It was eating away at him.  
  
His whole body was aching for his lover and she had given up.  
  
He needed to know that his whole life hasn't just been for his work.  
  
He needed to know that just because he was dedicated to his work, didn't mean he also couldn't have relationships.  
  
Catherine stood and moved to stand directly in front of him so his eyes had no other place to look but her own.  
  
"Has that happened?" She asked softly.  
  
He looked at her with no emotion.  
  
His eyes unmoved by her intense stare.  
  
"She stopped it." He whispered, suddenly defeated.  
  
Catherine watched as his eyes dropped from hers and his shoulders slumped further.  
  
"Someone at work?" She asked. Her questions were not pushing him to answer, they were soft.  
  
He nodded and glanced up at her briefly.  
  
"We tried to stop it."  
  
"But you couldn't?"  
  
He nodded again and sighed sadly.  
  
"I don't know what to do Cath." He said hoarsely.  
  
Catherine saw his eyes close against the emotions she could see before her. His breathing had become laboured as he tried to tell her he was in some kind of trouble, but it was hurting him because it was suddenly over.  
  
She slowly, so not to startle him, pulled him into her arms and held him as his breathing got harder and his arms came up around her and held her as he fought the tears.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Sitting in the diner after the weak conversation in the car park, they drank a hot cup of coffee.  
  
Waiting for more, Catherine reached over the table and squeezed his hand.  
  
He looked up from his coffee and smiled sadly.  
  
She saw his sadness and her heart ached for him to tell her so she could help him.  
  
"Maybe I can help." Catherine said.  
  
Grissom shook his head. "I've looked at it in every possible angle and so has she." He shrugged. "No loop hole, no options but the one we both won't go near." He explained.  
  
"Quitting?" He nodded at her single worded question.  
  
"It's something I wouldn't have given a second thought, but." He drifted off and sank back into his seat.  
  
Catherine shifted around the booth and sat next to him.  
  
She grabbed his hand tightly.  
  
"But you're thinking about it now? Why?" She pressed.  
  
He heard her urgency to know the answer to this.  
  
Raising a single eyebrow and turning his head to look at her, he gave her the only reason he would ever have to give up his job to be with the one thing that was more important in his life than his work.  
  
"I love her."  
  
Catherine smiled widely and leaned against him. Her head resting on his shoulder.  
  
"It's too late though." He added quietly.  
  
He was shaking and this caught Catherine's attention.  
  
"Gil?" She looked up at him and noticed his head was leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed. He pulled out the letter that was now very creased and handed it to her.  
  
As she read the letter, words jumped out at her.  
  
'Gil'  
  
'It's not worth you loosing your job.'  
  
'It's not worth you being hurt'  
  
'I'm too selfish to not want to keep us quiet.'  
  
'I don't want you to regret what happened between us'  
  
'I'm sorry'  
  
'I'm not sorry that I love you.'  
  
'Sara'  
  
Sara.  
  
The words brought tears to her eyes as she reread the letter.  
  
She knew something was up when she had stopped by that morning.  
  
She knew someone was with him.  
  
She knew and was happy for him.  
  
But she didn't know who.  
  
She only hoped.  
  
But was also afraid.  
  
He must have been terrified of being caught.  
  
Of being found with her.  
  
Of loosing what they already had.  
  
At home and at work.  
  
Catherine looked at him with so much emotion.  
  
She watched as a single tear escaped his closed eyes.  
  
He made no move to wipe it away, but his head came down.  
  
"How long?" She asked quietly.  
  
"4 Months." He answered, reaching for his forgotten coffee.  
  
Catherine looked back down at the letter in her hand and ran her index finger over the creases.  
  
He must have been angry to do this.  
  
Or hurt.  
  
Or both.  
  
Nothing was going right on this case and his world had just come crashing down.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
She stood in front of his desk and carefully laid the envelope on his laptop so he could see it.  
  
She looked around his office and sat down in his large leather chair.  
  
Leaning back her head, she breathed in the scent of him.  
  
Her lungs filled with his presence, yet she felt so alone.  
  
A phone call came this morning.  
  
She wasn't expecting it.  
  
Answering on the 4 ring.  
  
Scared she would hear his voice.  
  
It was someone from the San Francisco Crime Lab.  
  
A job was open and she was top of the list to call.  
  
Apparently her old boss wouldn't let anyone access to this new job without asking her first after hearing about the leave of absence a year ago.  
  
Now she didn't know what to do.  
  
Taking one last look around the office, his office, she left.  
  
She knew he'd be at home.  
  
It was hours after shift ended.  
  
She hadn't heard from him and she hadn't had the courage to ring him.  
  
Right now was a battle.  
  
Deciding what to do and when to do it.  
  
Was now, really the time to change everything?  
  
She didn't know whether to tell him or not, but she knew she had to.  
  
Pulling over to a post box, she slipped the letter into the small gap and watched sadly as it fell to the bottom of the dark box with a soft thud. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven  
  
Catherine sat in the visitors chair.  
  
She was watching him closely as he gulped down a whisky.  
  
He'd never started drinking at the beginning of a shift before.  
  
That was until he found the termination on his desk.  
  
She just waited and watched as he palmed another letter.  
  
It was opened, but he hadn't said anything about it.  
  
Filling his glass for the second time, he stared at it in a daze.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Earlier that day he was woken by a knock at the door.  
  
Taking the letter from the postman, he looked down and noticed the handwriting straight away.  
  
Thanking the postman, he closed the door.  
  
He had to stop himself from opening it while standing.  
  
Sitting on the couch, he slowly opened the envelope and pulled out the letter with shaky hands.  
  
Unfolding it with care, his other hand pushed his glasses on.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he sat back against the cushions.  
  
'Hey, I wanted to tell you in person, but I knew that if I saw you, I wouldn't be able to go through with it. This is something I never thought of doing, but I'd do anything to keep how we feel about each other and not ruin it with bad press. The lab was everything to me, but you were why I came to Las Vegas in the first place. I know your hurting right now, so am I.  
  
I got home and found an offer that was more of a lifeline. I didn't want to take it, but I knew we weren't going to be able to keep what we have if I stayed. Everyone at work would have noticed and you would have suffered. I'm not doing this to punish you. I could never do that, not to you. You mean more than anything to me and that's why I've left. Yes, I left this morning while you were sleeping. I didn't want to have anything. anyone, stop me.  
  
Maybe in the future we'll meet again and our lives won't be so difficult and we won't have so much to loose. I will be waiting for your call if you need me. I'll be there, but I need to help both of us by saving what we have. Don't blame yourself Gil. None of this is anyone's fault. You can't choose who you fall in love with and that's what happened.I fell in love.  
  
We never discussed what we would do when the time came, but it hit me more strongly when you left that evening for work. Never leave this woman by herself, she thinks too much. I don't know if you'd call it 'coming to your senses' but I'm thinking this is the best.  
  
If you think about it. This is the ideal way to sort problems out. It sounds harsh, but I don't mean it to. Being away was what I suggested a few weeks ago remember? Maybe I'll come back, maybe I'll stay in this new job and we can start something new, fresh. Some place with no rules saying we can't be together and believe it or not, I would do anything for that.  
  
Don't avoid me, don't shut me out. Talk to me. Tell me what you feel and what you think. This is what I've been trying to tell you for years and when I finally get access to that brain of yours. I find I'm not only honoured, but scared. Scared that I can fall in love with you all over again when you tell me your secrets or flash me a smile, tilt your head to one side and give me your annoyed look, or the exasperated one. Gil Grissom, You've turned me into a hopeless romantic and I will wait for you forever.  
  
With all my love.  
  
Sara'  
  
Surprising himself, he smiled and chuckled at the same time.  
  
She loved him.  
  
But he already knew that.  
  
The part that made him smile was the hopeless romantic and that she'd wait forever.  
  
He couldn't ask her to do that and yet, she's doing it all the same.  
  
He checked his watch and his smile faded.  
  
The reality that she was gone had set in.  
  
And that he had to work.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Now he sat in his office chair with Catherine watching his every move.  
  
She waited and observed as he stared at the envelope.  
  
Her eyes light up when he spoke suddenly and more lightly than he had in days.  
  
He weighed the envelope in his hand, his hand bouncing up and down slowly as he indicated the letter inside.  
  
"The thing that I can't get is that she's gone, but still wants to see me." He pushed his untouched glass away and grinned as he looked up.  
  
Catherine returned his grin as she saw the light bulb go on over his head.  
  
He had it.  
  
That light bulb glowed and lit up the room.  
  
He reached for his phone and dialled in a number as he thumbed through his rolodex.  
  
She listened carefully and narrowing her eyes at him slightly and only getting a genuine smile, she laughed a little and watched.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
She sat behind her desk and signed the last piece of paperwork.  
  
Now she knew why he'd be tired and pissed off after finishing a slow shift.  
  
All the paperwork that would suddenly appear on his desk and in this case, her desk.  
  
"Hey boss." A voice came from the doorway.  
  
She looked up and smiled. "Cameron. You have that report finished or do you need a couple more hours?"  
  
Cameron was a CSI level 2 and was a good young man with many diversions. He'd been at the crime lab for two years and was still going strong.  
  
"I need about 2. I'm trying to help Andy clear her last case. She's having problems with finding a clear match on the substance used to light that fire in the basement."  
  
"The arson case on 5th right?" She asked, looking for a report that came across her desk that evening.  
  
Cameron smiled. "Yep, that's the one. What you got?" He asked, seeing her lift a thin file.  
  
"Tox report. Andy wasn't sure of the results so I sent them back to be re- tested. Tell her the paraffin and unknown was the substance she's looking for. Ask Scott if she wants more details."  
  
"Thanks I'll do that. You have a nice weekend." Cameron said before leaving.  
  
"You too Cam." She shouted and returned to clearing the mess on her desk.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Still in her office, she sat back and opened a book.  
  
Loosing interest quickly, she found herself staring at the phone and willing it to ring, but it never came.  
  
She put the book on the desk and leaned back into her chair as she closed her eyes.  
  
A shadow appeared, blocking the light from the open door of her office.  
  
"Hey Boss."  
  
Her eyes snapped open as she sat up and stared at the person occupying her doorway.  
  
Her mouth was slightly agape as her eyes drifted over the figure.  
  
Starting at the feet, the black suit pants, the black leather belt, the white shirt and the black suit jacket. Her eyes continued to survey the body and moved up and took in the chin, mouth, nose, eyes, hair and back to his eyes again,  
  
She couldn't speak, so she stood.  
  
The blue eyes were staring back at her with same intensity.  
  
She moved around her desk to stop in the middle of the room.  
  
She watched as he closed the door without his eyes leaving hers.  
  
The urge was killing her.  
  
She took one step and he quickly closed the distance to stand practically on top of her.  
  
Their eyes held as they reached for each other.  
  
Lips met hastily as hands pulled their bodies closer together.  
  
The feel of him touching her was intoxicating and deeply missed.  
  
It had been weeks since her move to San Francisco and not once had they contacted each other.  
  
He pulled back breathless and cupped her cheek as his blue eyes burned into her browns.  
  
She turned her head and closed her eyes against his touch.  
  
She kissed his palm and leaned up to kiss his chin, his cheek and his ear.  
  
"I missed you so much." She whispered.  
  
He crushed her to his chest in reply and dipped his head to her neck to place a heated kiss on her flushed skin.  
  
"Sara?" He moaned as she suckled his earlobe into her mouth.  
  
"Yes Gil?" She murmured, pulling the skin below his ear gently by her teeth.  
  
"Let's go home." He suggested.  
  
Any place, his or hers was home, as long as they were together.  
  
She pulled away and grabbed her coat and keys before entwining her fingers with his and leading the way to her car.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
He waited patiently as she unlocked the door to her new house.  
  
She slipped the key into the lock and turned it.  
  
She leaned back when she felt his hands hold her hips and pull back slightly.  
  
She pressed her back to his chest as she cracked the door open.  
  
He lowered his head and tasted her shoulder.  
  
She was glad she wore a strappy top to work as he rained kisses to her collarbone around to her shoulder blade.  
  
Slipping her fingers into his hair, she pulled his mouth closer to her skin as she leaned her head back onto his shoulder to give him more access.  
  
Moving forward, he pushed his hips into her ass and groaned into her ear as she pressed back and ground lightly into him.  
  
They moved through the door and with the heel of his shoe, the door shut quickly.  
  
She turned in his arms and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him closer.  
  
He looked into her eyes with passion and love as he leaned into her and kissed her with slowness and tenderness, she felt her stomach flip and her heart burst.  
  
"Gil?" She whimpered.  
  
He pulled back slightly and smiled. "I love you Sara." He said quietly and softly.  
  
She grinned and kissed his lips lightly. "I love you too."  
  
Grasping his hand, she pulled him in the direction of her bedroom.  
  
He followed her as they climbed the stairs.  
  
Reaching the top step, he pulled her back against him and ran his hands over the front of her body. "I want to make love to you." He whispered.  
  
She sighed and smiled. "Bedroom honey." Her giggle died on her lips as he turned her and pressed her into the wall beside her bedroom door.  
  
Their eyes met and locked as his hands travelled her body agonisingly slow. He started from her left thigh and worked his way upwards. His eyes never leaving her and watched her face as her head fell back against the wall and she struggled to keep her eyes open.  
  
His hands were like flames, they burned into her skin.  
  
She opened her eyes at the feel of his lips on her chest.  
  
She hardly noticed that he'd pulled her shirt over her head.  
  
Feeling the wetness and the cool air from the air conditioning blow over her body, she shivered and moaned as his lips pulled in a lace covered breast.  
  
She felt like her legs were going to give way at any moment.  
  
Pushing his shoulders back, she listened to his grumbled protest as she pulled on his arm and moved their activities into the bedroom.  
  
He looked at the large bed and grinned.  
  
A large four poster bed sat in the centre of the room.  
  
She turned to him and began unbuckling his belt. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight  
  
Her eyes followed her hands as they came up to unbutton his shirt.  
  
He shrugged his jacket off, sending it sailing to the floor.  
  
Seconds later, his shirt joined it.  
  
His eyes closed as she leaned into him and kissed his chest tenderly.  
  
He reached around her and unclasped her bra.  
  
She felt the silk slip from her body and his hands replace the cups.  
  
She moaned and raised her head to unit their lips.  
  
His hands travelled over her body.  
  
He pulled from the kiss and dropped to his knees.  
  
He kissed her stomach as his fingers unbuttoned her pants and slid them down her legs.  
  
She stepped out of them and pulled his body up.  
  
Her hands finished what she started on his pants.  
  
She stepped back to the bed and held out her hand.  
  
He closed the distance quickly and pulled her roughly to his chest.  
  
She giggled as he shivered, her fingertips gliding over his sides.  
  
Her giggling seized when he pulled her tongue into his mouth and started sucking on it.  
  
She moaned as his hands roamed everywhere.  
  
He groaned as she ground against him.  
  
Pulling back, she took him with her as she fell onto the bed.  
  
His body covered hers, his mouth devouring hers.  
  
Gasping for air, she lightly kissed his lips.  
  
His eyes locked with hers as he slowly entered her.  
  
She gazed into his eyes as he stopped.  
  
Pausing to savour their connection.  
  
They'd missed each other so much and longed for each other for what seemed like forever.  
  
He lowered himself onto her and kissed her with all the passion he felt.  
  
The slow and tenderness of the kiss made her heart skip as his lips gently caressed hers and his tongue tasted her with a softness she'd missed.  
  
He pushed himself up onto his arms and began his slow thrusts.  
  
Her eyes slipped closed as he slowly pushed into her body and out again.  
  
Repeating his actions and watching her reaction.  
  
She moaned as she wrapped her legs tighter around his hips and pulled him deeper and harder into her body.  
  
His mouth was trailing over her body.  
  
He groaned and she cried out as the vibrations swept through her breast and through her entire body.  
  
His teeth clamped over the nipple as he pulled her right leg up.  
  
She looked at him as he pushed himself up slightly and pulled her body towards him.  
  
He turned his head and kissed her calf as he thrust into her with one long hard thrust and then another one as he kissed her knee and moved to her stomach.  
  
He worshiped her body and brought them both to a higher state of bliss as he slowed his strokes and lowered his body onto her.  
  
His hand touched her face while his other pushed under her.  
  
She closed her eyes as waves of pleasure coursed through her.  
  
His lips pressed against hers lightly as his hips continued to rock at the slow pace.  
  
Building up the tension was agonising, but so incredibly wonderful at the same time.  
  
Hers eyes opened as she felt him tense slightly.  
  
They watched as their eyes glazed over.  
  
Her hands were holding him to her, gliding over his back and squeezing his ass, eliciting a throaty groan from him.  
  
She smiled and kissed him softly as they both moved their hips against each other with a little more pressure than before and found both moaning constantly as their insides tingled.  
  
Crying out loudly, she pulled his mouth to hers again and drowned their moans and groans of ecstasy in a deep breathtaking kiss.  
  
They held each other in the same position for an eternity.  
  
Him still filling her as he went limp.  
  
Her legs hung loosely around his hips.  
  
Their mouths still engaged.  
  
Their hands still softly caressing each other  
  
Finally he pulled from her and wrapped his arms around her body as they drank in the afterglow of their lovemaking and storing it with all the other times.  
  
Soon after nestling together, they found sleep in the warmth of each others arms.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Daytime came and went.  
  
Shadows moved around the room slowly as the hours went by.  
  
The sun spreading a soft glow across the lower half of the large bed.  
  
Warming the feet of the occupants.  
  
His body was pressed against hers as they lay on their sides.  
  
Her back pushed back into his chest.  
  
His arm possessively around her waist.  
  
Her hands covering his.  
  
His breath on her neck.  
  
Their legs tangled together.  
  
The sight was of two lovers holding each other after a morning of showing each other just how much they loved each other.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Grissom kissed her neck and pulled away from her body.  
  
He stood and slipped on his boxers.  
  
Turning back to the bed, he watched as she slept soundly.  
  
His stomach rumbled.  
  
He leaned over her and kissed her cheek lightly.  
  
Making his way down the stairs to the kitchen, he turned on the coffee maker and looked around the cupboards for something to eat.  
  
Surprised to see chicken soup in the cupboard, he chuckled and shook his head.  
  
He collected the ingredients he needed and turned the stove on.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Sara stirred at the smell of something sweet.  
  
She stretched out and yawned herself awake.  
  
Opening her eyes, she looked around the room an noticed the bedroom door open.  
  
She sat up and smiled. "Hey."  
  
Grissom grinned. "Hi. You sleep ok?"  
  
He always asks that. He thinks he snores, but he doesn't. Well, she hasn't noticed.  
  
"I slept great." She eyed the tray he was holding as he sat on the bed beside her. "Mmm. what you got?"  
  
Setting the tray down on her lap, he picked up the fork and speared some food. He held it up to her mouth and watched as she opened her mouth and her lips closed over the food.  
  
"Like?" He asked softly, leaning over to kiss her sweet lips.  
  
Sara giggled. "Blueberry pancakes. Yummy." She kissed him again.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
After eating, they showered together.  
  
Pulling on clean clothes, Sara sat on the bed and watched as Grissom opened his bag and found fresh clothing to wear.  
  
Spying the suit that now lay folded on the chair, she frowned.  
  
"Gil?"  
  
He turned with a smile. "Yeah?"  
  
She looked up at him. "Why were you wearing a suit?"  
  
His smile grew wider and moved to sit beside her.  
  
"Well." He started. "I had this bright idea a few weeks ago, an idea given to me by this beautiful woman."  
  
Sara grinned and raised her eyebrows. "Anyone I know?" She teased.  
  
Grissom chuckled and kissed her lightly. "You might have met her." He continued the teasing.  
  
She smiled and leaned into him.  
  
His arms wrapped around her.  
  
"I gave you an idea huh?"  
  
He nodded and dropped a kiss on her head.  
  
"I'm supervisor for the Las Vegas Crime Lab." He began explaining. "And you're now supervisor for the San Francisco Crime Lab."  
  
Sara gave a small following his train of thought sound as she played with his hands.  
  
"Something occurred to me about rules."  
  
"Boss, subordinate?" She asked.  
  
He sighed. "Yes." Wrapping his arms around her waist, he placed a soft kiss on her neck. "But that's not anymore."  
  
Sara turned her head and looked up at him with a serious expression. "Now I don't work for you, it's no longer a boss subordinate relationship."  
  
Grissom looked into her eyes and smiled slightly. "Now we are of the same rank and there are no rules keeping us apart."  
  
His explanation was understood, but there was still one problem.  
  
Looking down at her fingers intertwined with his, she sighed sadly.  
  
"But now we're miles apart and I've ruined any chance for us being together by moving out here."  
  
His eyes dropped to her head and his arms let her go as he moved onto the bed more and faced her.  
  
He shook his head when she briefly looked up.  
  
"You haven't ruined anything." He stressed.  
  
She needed to believe that.  
  
She had too.  
  
He reached out and grasped one hand as the other pushed her chin up.  
  
"Sara, honey. I don't think this relationship is ruined."  
  
She took his hand from her chin and held it tightly as she interrupted him. "It's a long way Gil and you and I both know that we can't just drop things and fly out to see each other."  
  
Grissom smiled at her and watched as she narrowed her eyes at him.  
  
"What?" She asked curiously. "Why are you smiling?"  
  
He shrugged and leaned forward slightly, in a more hush hush gesture.  
  
"Did you know that your forma boss owes me one?" He whispered with a huge grin.  
  
Sara still didn't understand. "Gil, I'm confused as to what that's got to do with our problems."  
  
Grissom pursed his lips and shifted closer to her.  
  
She sat cross legged in front of him.  
  
He pushed himself up onto his knees and sat on his legs.  
  
His hands were still gripping hers.  
  
He took a deep breath.  
  
"I'm. I'm required to travel to and from San Francisco every two weeks for two weeks at a time to be the resistant entomologist for your department.." He watched as she listened carefully to every word.  
  
"But." She began, he silenced her with his fingers on her lips.  
  
He smiled reassuringly. "I don't want to give up my job in Vegas and I know you did this." He gestured to the room and everything outside it. "To make sure I keep my job and I'm grateful, but I'm not willing to give you up with that."  
  
She sighed and shook her head. "Gil, please."  
  
"I'm trying to tell you that I'm not giving up anything, but gaining a whole lot more." 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine  
  
Licking her lips in thought, she looked over his shoulder as she collected his words and worked them into her head.  
  
She found his eyes again. "You came here last night." She said, no question.  
  
He nodded.  
  
Continuing, she squinted her eyes slightly.  
  
"Two weeks?"  
  
Grissom nodded.  
  
Her tongue pushed into her cheek.  
  
Biting her lip, she tilted her head to the left slightly.  
  
"Two here, two Vegas?"  
  
He nodded again and smiled as she put it all together.  
  
Slowly at first, she grinned.  
  
"I have you for two weeks?"  
  
He just grinned, his eyes twinkling.  
  
Sara blinked and frowned.  
  
Grissom did the same. "What's wrong?"  
  
She dropped her head. "No."  
  
He sucked in his breath and closed his eyes.  
  
"You can't. You'll kill yourself running back and forth. Two weeks is wonderful, but then you go for two and then come back. You're not a yo-yo Gil. I can't use you like that. It's not fair on you."  
  
Grissom sat back and laid down on the bed, his head on the pillows.  
  
"Why can't you just do this for me? Just try it and if it doesn't work. then I'll stop."  
  
Sara looked down at him and saw his eyes were closed.  
  
She had a strange feeling in her gut.  
  
"Don't lie to me Gil Grissom."  
  
She got up off the bed and left the room.  
  
Grissom got up and followed her.  
  
He stopped at the top of the stairs as she reached the bottom.  
  
"I love you Sara!" He shouted. "Don't give up on this please."  
  
She stood at the foot of the stairs.  
  
She listened to him and quickly brushed her tears away.  
  
"You don't understand Gil."  
  
He didn't, not when she said it like that.  
  
He slowly made his way down the stairs to stop behind her.  
  
"Let me do this."  
  
She shook her head. "It would kill you. I can't let you do that."  
  
"It won't." He promised.  
  
His hand came up to rest on her shoulder.  
  
"If I try this." She began and turned to him. "You have to be honest with me."  
  
"I will." He said reaching up to brush her hair over her shoulders.  
  
She nodded and took a shaky breathe. "If you get tired of this travelling your willing to take, you have to tell me. I can't loose you Gil. I've told you that once before and it's true. A lot can happen between here and Vegas."  
  
Grissom saw the concern in her tear filled eyes and drew her to him.  
  
Kissing her lips sounding, he held her tightly.  
  
"If I get tired of the travelling, we discuss something else. I'm never letting you go again." He swore and wrapped her into his entire body.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
A weekend of sitting in front of the TV, watching forensic documentaries and movies, spending hours talking, making love, teasing and playful bantering. this continued for an entire weekend and the beginnings of the first week.  
  
Dinners, breakfasts, lunches and working together, again was treasured and enjoyed.  
  
The night before Grissom was due to head back to Vegas was quiet, but busy.  
  
Work was consuming Sara and she hadn't seen him all day.  
  
He was working with a new case involving fire ants and numerous beetles.  
  
The night drifted on.  
  
4 hours until his flight left San Francisco.  
  
She sat in her office after trying to find him, but had no luck.  
  
She stared at a case file Cameron and Andy had been working on.  
  
Everything checked out.  
  
Just the time on the clock was moving too fast.  
  
She sighed and sat back in her chair, only to stand and walk over to the CD player and turn on the music.  
  
Soft, slow jazz poured lightly out of the speakers.  
  
She pulled a book from the shelf above the CD player and opened it.  
  
Skimming through the pages, she took a deep breathe through her nose and smiled.  
  
Closing the book slowly, she turned to the body standing behind her.  
  
He smirked and took the book from her.  
  
Placing it on the shelf, he leaned into her.  
  
Whispering lightly into her ear. "Dance with me?"  
  
She smiled and stepped into his awaiting arms.  
  
They danced to the slow music in the low lit room.  
  
Everything outside the office and building was forgotten as they held each other close.  
  
His hand pulled hers closer to his chest.  
  
She splayed her hand over his heart and turned her head to kiss his cheek.  
  
Laying her head on his shoulder, she breathed in the scent of the man she loves and closed her eyes as she let it seep into her soul.  
  
His hand on her waist, slipped under her shirt and pushed slightly up her bare skin.  
  
He traced her spine with his fingers and lowered his head when she shuddered.  
  
Smiling into her neck, he kissed the warm skin.  
  
"You have to go soon." She whispered.  
  
He held her tighter, telling her that he'd do anything to stay longer.  
  
She knew, but she still didn't want him to go.  
  
They danced for a little longer, until the CD was finished.  
  
As the room went silent, She pulled back and gazed into his eyes.  
  
Blue eyes smiled down at her.  
  
Speaking volumes of love with just their eyes.  
  
He dipped his head slowly and brushed his lips across hers.  
  
Her arms wrapped around his neck as she parted her lips.  
  
His lips brushed a little harder this time.  
  
Welcoming the slow and tender kiss, she pushed her fingers through his curls.  
  
Tongues caressed softly and unhurriedly.  
  
Forcing the kiss to be just as it is and nothing passionate that would suddenly lead to something more.  
  
Breaking the kiss with agonising strength, he moulded his body against hers and buried his face in her neck.  
  
Doing the same, she slipped her arms around his waist and up his back to rest on his shoulder blades.  
  
Holding each other tightly.  
  
Forgetting for a few minutes that being away for two weeks was going to be tough.  
  
"You promised me." She whimpered.  
  
"I remember." He said softly into her hair. "I'll ring you when I land."  
  
She nodded and moved back slightly to see his face. "Do you need to go home first?"  
  
He shook his head. "I've everything I need, but I left some things."  
  
She smiled and kissed him tenderly.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Standing at the airport, they looked up as the flight for Vegas was called.  
  
He turned to her and smiled sadly.  
  
She returned it with a small smile of her own.  
  
Hugging each other lightly, they shared a brief kiss.  
  
He picked up his bag and squeezed her hand that was still in his and had been since they left the lab.  
  
She pulled on it and looked down at the floor.  
  
His eyes followed for a second, before he looked up and moved closer.  
  
"I'm a phone call away." He said softly.  
  
She nodded and looked up. "I know."  
  
He smiled and leaned into her.  
  
Kissing her once again, he chuckled.  
  
"I'll tell the others you're doing a great job."  
  
She laughed. "Your job you mean?"  
  
He nodded and grinned.  
  
The announcement came over the speakers again.  
  
"You'd better go." She said sadly.  
  
He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers.  
  
"I love you." He whispered, kissing her hand again.  
  
Smiling widely, she brushed his cheekbone and giggled.  
  
"Chalk." She shrugged and laughed when he gave her the mock confused Grissom look.  
  
He smiled and released her hand. "Later."  
  
She watched him walk three steps before calling out to him. "Gil!"  
  
He turned halfway and stuffed his free hand into his pants pocket.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I love you too." She smiled and watched as he grinned and continued to walk towards the flight desk. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten  
  
Grissom sat behind his desk.  
  
It had been two days since he got back from San Francisco.  
  
He spoke to Sara when he got back and rang her before he started shift.  
  
They were both busy with cases.  
  
Catherine and the others had asked him about Sara and he told them that she was fine.  
  
Catherine knew about the relationship between the two, but the other's still weren't completely aware.  
  
Grissom looked up to see Catherine walk into the office.  
  
She sat down and past him a case file. "Case closed." She announced and relaxed into the chair.  
  
He smiled and looked the file over. "Did Warrick finish his case?"  
  
She nodded and sighed. "Done and dusted. He's with Nick in Ballistics, awaiting Bobby's results on Nick's gang shooting."  
  
Grissom signed the reports and dropped the file into the out tray.  
  
"Well, at least the shift has slowed down."  
  
Catherine agreed. "Yeah, maybe we'll get home on time. It's Lindsey's birthday and I want to be there when she wakes up."  
  
"Take off now if you want. Nothing is likely to come in now and if it does, it's Ecklie's"  
  
Smiling at the lightness of his tone, Catherine stood.  
  
"You're the boss." She turned and left.  
  
Sitting back in his chair once more, he lifted the phone, but hovered his hand over the numbers.  
  
He sighed and replaced the phone.  
  
She'd be busy anyway.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Sara walked into the break room and opened the fridge.  
  
She found an apple and as she stood, she suddenly felt dizzy.  
  
Cameron and Andy strolled into the room laughing.  
  
Cameron looked up and rushed over to Sara as she just about hit the floor.  
  
"Andy, call an ambulance. She's unconscious." Cameron instructed.  
  
Andy reached for her cell and sent the call.  
  
Sara lay on the floor.  
  
Cameron checked her pulse and noticed it was erratic.  
  
Andy knelt down and push a cushion under Sara's head.  
  
"Is she ok?" Andy asked.  
  
"Not sure, but her pulse is through the roof."  
  
** ** ** **  
  
A day later.  
  
Nick and Warrick ran down the hallway.  
  
"Stokes, Brown!" Grissom shouted.  
  
"Sorry!" They shouted back.  
  
He shook his head and continued to walk down the hallway towards his office.  
  
The phone was ringing.  
  
Taking his time.  
  
He pulled his coat from the hook and put it on.  
  
Time to go home and relax.  
  
Staring at the phone, he was about to leave it, when he smiled at the sudden thought.  
  
Lifting the receiver, his smile faded.  
  
"Cameron?"  
  
Grissom listened carefully to Cameron's rush of words.  
  
"Cameron, calm down."  
  
Waiting for Cameron to take a deep breath, he could hear more clearly.  
  
Nodding to no one, he swallowed hard.  
  
"Is she ok?"  
  
He breathed a sigh of relief at the affirmative.  
  
"I'll be there as soon as I can."  
  
After a few more details and thanks, Grissom hung up.  
  
Leaving the lab, he drove over to Catherine's house.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Catherine opened the door and raised her eyebrows at him.  
  
"Gil?"  
  
Grissom looked down at the floor briefly.  
  
"I need to go to San Francisco."  
  
Catherine opened the door wider to let him in.  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
"I got a call from Cameron."  
  
Getting a blank look from her, he explained.  
  
"Cameron's one of Sara's CSI's. He called and said Sara collapsed at work yesterday. She's fine, but isn't allowed back at work for a few days."  
  
Catherine sat down at the kitchen table.  
  
"And you want me to cover?"  
  
Grissom sighed. "Yes."  
  
"Ok."  
  
He looked at her surprised, then smiled.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
She shrugged. "No problem. Means I get to boss the boys around."  
  
He chuckled. "Like you don't already."  
  
Catherine reach across and smacked his arms. "Watch it."  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Grissom was on the phone a few times during the flight.  
  
He was arranging cover for himself while he was away.  
  
He'd just got back from a two week post in San Francisco and now he was going back.  
  
Explaining the situation with as little detail as possible to the director.  
  
Working in San Francisco was on hold.  
  
He needed to find out what was wrong and what to do to help.  
  
Sara has been ill, but she's never collapsed at work before.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Sara unlocked the door and opened it.  
  
At the sight of him, she started to cry.  
  
He dropped his bag on the floor by the door and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"Hey, Sssh. It's ok now." He soothed.  
  
"I was so scared." She cried.  
  
He rubbed her back softly and kissed her neck.  
  
"I'm here now."  
  
She clung to his jacket tightly as he rocked her gently.  
  
After a while, he pulled away and closed the door.  
  
Walking her towards the couch and sitting down beside her.  
  
He pulled her against him and held her.  
  
"What happened?" He asked.  
  
She took a shallow breath and buried her head in his chest.  
  
"It was nearing end of shift and I was hungry. I went into the break room and when I got an apple out the fridge, I felt dizzy. I stood up and suddenly I'm at the hospital with Andy and Cameron."  
  
Brushing her hair back from her face, he kissed her forehead.  
  
"What did the doctor say?"  
  
He waited and waited, but she didn't answer.  
  
"Honey?"  
  
She turned her head slightly and looked across the room.  
  
"That I'm pregnant."  
  
She felt him stop breathing.  
  
His chest still.  
  
And his heart rate increase.  
  
But his arms still held her tightly.  
  
"Gil?" She looked up at him.  
  
His eyes were closed.  
  
Taking the first breath in minutes, he looked down at her.  
  
"Pregnant?" He asked lightly.  
  
She watched as his eyes seemed to dance.  
  
Nodding, she moved slightly.  
  
"Yes."  
  
He swallowed hard. "A baby?"  
  
She had to smile at his stammering.  
  
"Yeah, a baby, our baby."  
  
He smirked at her, then a large grin spread across his face.  
  
Matching his smile, she hugged him tightly.  
  
"We're having a baby?" He whispered into her hair.  
  
"A beautiful baby Gil."  
  
His arms held her as he leaned his head against hers.  
  
"Sara?"  
  
"Mmm?"  
  
"How far along?"  
  
She smiled and snuggled closer. "Strangely enough, 9 weeks."  
  
Grissom pulled away and stared at her.  
  
"You're kidding?"  
  
His grin was larger than hers as she shook her head.  
  
She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.  
  
"Nope, in around 29 weeks. we'll have a baby."  
  
Seeing the happiness in his eyes, she scooted closer to him and kissed his lips softly.  
  
He chuckled. "I'm gonna be a dad in about 29 weeks."  
  
She nodded and laughed as he pulled her roughly against him.  
  
"Hey, honey, you'll make me sick."  
  
He grinned, loosened his hold on her and kissed her cheek.  
  
"Morning sickness huh?"  
  
She giggled. "Weird, I know." 


	11. Chapter 11 Complete

Chapter Eleven  
  
"So, mom." He chuckled. "We need to talk about what happens between before and after the little sprog comes."  
  
Raising her eyebrows at him, she asked. "Sprog?"  
  
He shrugged. "Hey, I'm new at this."  
  
She giggled and shook her head. "Ok, sprog it is and what do you mean talk?"  
  
She watched as he moved to sit on the coffee table.  
  
He was facing her as she turned.  
  
Their knees touching and his hands holding both hers.  
  
He smiled and looked down at their hands.  
  
"I sort of already sorted out what needs to be done next. Although I wasn't expecting this?"  
  
He motioned to her stomach where their baby was growing.  
  
She nodded and squeezed his hands.  
  
"I couldn't stay two days away from you without missing you, let alone two weeks."  
  
"I know, I missed you too." She smiled and waited for him to continue.  
  
He cringed and looked at her briefly. "I resigned as supervisor."  
  
She gasped and pulled her hands from his. "No! You did not! Gil Grissom! Oh God!"  
  
He sat back slightly and watched her reaction as he continued.  
  
"Listen to me before you bite my head off." He pleaded.  
  
She sighed and waited.  
  
"I made a few calls. You said yourself that maybe one day we could start over. Where there were no rules, no one stopping us from being together."  
  
His explanation was rushed as he watched her eyes widen.  
  
"It's not that bad, really."  
  
She just stared at him as she slumped back on the couch.  
  
She dropped her head and looked at her hands.  
  
"You worked so hard to get where you are Gil." She whispered.  
  
He nodded and leaned forward slightly.  
  
"Yes, but that's before I realised what I wanted in life. It's been too long Sara. Please believe me, that I did this for both of us."  
  
She shook her head. "I can't."  
  
"Sara, please."  
  
She pulled her knees up to her chest.  
  
"We agreed you would keep your job, no matter what happened."  
  
"It's different now Sara, can't you see that?" He interrupted.  
  
Nodding slowly, she looked up at him.  
  
"What happens? Will you stay or go?"  
  
Her eyes closed as she waited for his answer.  
  
He frowned at her question. "I can't believe your asking me that."  
  
"You leave the job you love to fly over here to find out your girlfriend is pregnant. I want to know what your going to do if you can't be supervisor."  
  
It was his turn to close his eyes as he tried to find the words he'd prepared on the flight here.  
  
"I want to be with you. You know that. More than ever now." He stressed, leaning forward and squeezing her knee.  
  
"But what will you do?" She asked softly, her legs returning to the floor.  
  
He sat up and moved to sit beside her.  
  
His hand covered the place where the baby was and smiled.  
  
"I already got a job teaching at the university and consulting at the lab here in San Francisco. It's been here a while and I've never taken it. till now."  
  
"What about the lab?" She asked, referring to Vegas and the others.  
  
He grinned and shrugged. "Catherine's got the promotion she always wanted and I got something better."  
  
She smiled. "Oh?" Covering his hand lightly.  
  
"I get to be with the woman I love and raise our child. I get to work and do all the things I use to, but get to come home to a beautiful child and wife."  
  
He waited for his words to sink in and when they did.  
  
"What?" She said on a gasp.  
  
He chuckled. "Didn't you hear me?"  
  
She looked at him for a few seconds before nodding.  
  
"I did." She paused and took a small breath. "Did you just ask me to marry you?"  
  
He grinned and nodded. "Think I did."  
  
Still starring at him in disbelief, she watched as he sighed and slipped off the couch and onto his knees.  
  
"If I have to do this the proper way, so be it."  
  
She giggled nervously as he delved into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box.  
  
"This is so not happening." She said quietly.  
  
He chuckled. "I'm afraid it is my love."  
  
Lifting the box, he opened it and smiled.  
  
Before he could speak, she held up her hand.  
  
"Did you plan this or were you going to do this some other time?"  
  
He grimaced. "Actually I was going to do this the day I came here two weeks ago."  
  
She tilted her head in amusement.  
  
"What?" He grinned. "So what if I chickened out. I'm doing it now aren't I?"  
  
She had to agree and waved for him to continue.  
  
He smiled and shook his head.  
  
"Ok, where was I?"  
  
"Proposing." She offered.  
  
He laughed. "Right."  
  
Taking a deep breath, he reached out for her left hand and slipped the gold band onto her ring finger.  
  
"Sara Sidle, I've never been more in love with someone as I have you and if you'll have me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and be the best husband and dad I can be."  
  
He added the last bit and she giggled at his enthusiasm.  
  
"Will you marry me?"  
  
Waiting for her answer, he held her hand tightly.  
  
"Yes." She said as tears rolled down her cheeks.  
  
Pulling her up with him, he embraced her gently.  
  
** ** ** **  
  
Day after day of flirting and bordering the boundaries that were ready to break.  
  
Nights of avoiding each other.  
  
Months of hiding from the officials of the lab.  
  
Years of denial.  
  
Months they spent together.  
  
Hours they spent making love.  
  
Times they tried to put things back as they were.  
  
Failing to keep a distance from one another.  
  
Breaking rules and promises.  
  
Hurting each other.  
  
Making up.  
  
Moving away.  
  
Trying to resolve the problems.  
  
Making life that bit easier.  
  
Travelling to new jobs and new places.  
  
Meeting up in a new place.  
  
Starting over with knew faces and ambitions.  
  
Getting the life they both dreamed of.  
  
Spending the rest of their lives together.  
  
Raising a family together.  
  
Working together without regulations.  
  
Living together without reparations.  
  
Moving on with life like they planned.  
  
Making love in their new home.  
  
Marrying and bringing up their children.  
  
A dream come true for both Sara and Grissom.  
  
THE END  
  
(What do ya think? I liked. This was actually based on a friend of mine, although it decided to veer off with a mind of its own in the middle. Hope you enjoyed reading it.) 


End file.
